Midnight Poem

Gue lagi iseng baca diary gue dulu waktu gue masih merasakan sakit maha-dahsyat sebelum gue di kemoterapi. Kebanyakan isinya sumpah serapah yaaa~ hahaha! Kalo buku harian ini dibaca anak dibawah umur mungkin dia ngira itu buku absen satwa liar di Afrika. Dan kalo bener-bener dibaca, sungguhlah anak tersebut memiliki perbendaharaan kosa kata kasar terbanyak sepanjang sejarah anak-anak.

Diantara lembaran caci maki dan ungkapan rasa sakit yg tumpah, gue menemukan secarik puisi dalam bahasa Inggris yg pernah gue tulis. Gue ini gak pinter merangkai kata-kata indah pake bahasa Indonesia. Jadi waktu itu gue sengaja bikinnya in English biar ketutup betapa payahnya gue bikin puisi pake bahasa Indonesia. So, this is it! Midnight poem by Ferina Aquila.

Midnight Poem

By: Ferina Aquila

When night comes and covers the sky with its darkness

When all doors are closed

and lamps turned off

When people getting sink into their dreams

Their beautiful dreams ...

Here i am ...

Lying on my bed with my eyes open and whispering into my self

‘why?’

Why this happens to me?

Why i have to feel pain more than others feel?

Why everything seem so blur?

Everyone starts gone slowly one by one ...

No ‘goodbye’ word spoken because they just leave ...

They don’t know how much i need them

They don’t know i can’t stand the pain alone

I’m fallen into the worst nightmare i wish i never face it

My dreams get burn and i can’t see the future

By now, everything won’t be as good as yesterday

Deep in my heart, i miss ‘the old me’

I miss my old life where there was more laugh than tears

Where i can catch up my dream

Where i can stand by myself without anyone helps

And i miss my freedom for doing anything i like

I wish i could go back to my past

To fix anything i can fix

To do anything i haven’t do yet

Because this is so tragic

I guess i’m getting mad by the torture

and i wanna die right now ...